sample college essays

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Williams College.

Personal Statement Essay

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to  later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or  failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the  experience? (250-650 words)

P1

“And  you thought you could paint,” whispered the indistinguishable mass of  colors in front of me, which was meant to represent a window. I looked  down at the paint-stained printed image that I held with my trembling  hand and back again to the unsuccessful attempts I had made to capture  it on the canvas. My eyes scanned the wet paint avidly, attempting to  find a solution to a problem I didn’t, couldn’t, solve. The more I  looked at it, the more my mind wandered, focusing on the imperfections  and confusion that the task of creating my first oil painting caused.  Thoughts dashed through my brain like bullets, creating a knot of  insecurity so tight that all of the pressure seemed to accumulate until I  couldn’t hold it any longer. The pressure exploded, followed by several  fat tears that spurted from my eyes. “Why would you do something you’re  clearly not good at?” yelled my thoughts. I dropped my paintbrush on  the floor, the paint splattering around me along with my tears.

P2

I  had never encountered anything like the painting that lay in front of  me. My little projects were generally characterized by the quick  learning of new skills, after which I would easily succeed at achieving  in the activity. Never had I struggled solving math problems, never had  my words faltered while conjuring up a last minute essay. It was this  previous success and my ability to learn things quickly that made this  encounter with a challenge so difficult. When looking at an obstacle in  the eyes, I was a coward. I was unable to face difficulty in the fear  that I’d be unable to succeed. I turned around and walked away, the  smell of wet paint fading along with the determination my eyes had once  held.

P3

The colors would remain alone for the next few weeks,  calling to me from the corner of my bedroom where they lay, discarded.  It was not until that cloudy Sunday afternoon, common during rainy  season, when the voices would finally reach my ears and guide my hands  back to the paintbrush. It would take, however, 3 weeks and the  development of a new friendship.

P4

I met Mirjana through an  exchange programme between my school and a school hidden amongst the  mountains of Panama, which aimed at providing a better education to  teens from poor areas. She was pretty and soft-spoken, with white teeth  and sparkling, brown eyes. She liked to read, and we hit it off right  away. Her stay with us was filled with laughter and discussions about  latin-american novelists, and it was amongst these that we grew to  become the best of friends. Mirjana told me about her hobbies, her  friends from back home, her dreams, but most of all, her fears.

We  spent long afternoons in bed, the soft breeze outside creating twists  in our hair as it crawled through the window and listened to our  conversations, the rain’s silent messenger during April. Mirjana told me  about her fear of not being able to provide for her family and her  homesickness while being at boarding school. It was during these  conversations about fear that I began to look back at my painting  attempts. Fear, that little whisper on the back of my ear, the fear of  failure, had stopped me in my tracks when I had encountered a setback.

P5

Our  conversations during these calm afternoons continued, and my thoughts  about the fear of failure intensified. Why was failure so scary to me?  Why was I afraid of something I had not yet encountered? These thoughts  would reach a climax that cloudy Sunday afternoon, where my hands would  find the paintbrush and dip it into the creamy mixture of oil paint. And  although I did learn how to paint, my biggest achievement was learning  how to push fear out of the way to let the water flow and the paint  dance.

(650 / 650 words)

This Common App personal statement was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania.

Personal Statement Essay

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is  so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without  it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

P1

When  I watched the Patriots and Falcons play in the Super Bowl in February  of 2017, I had no idea that the next time I watched a football game I  would be on the sidelines, right in the middle of all the action.  However, that’s exactly what happened, and my experience as a football  manager is not one that I will ever forget.

P2

At the end of my  junior year, the head football coach, Coach Cotter (who was also my AP  Government teacher), asked me if I wanted to be a manager for the  football team. He told me I would have to be at all the practices and  games during the summer and throughout the school year. He made a  compelling offer, but I turned him down because I didn't think I would  have enough time during the summer with my classes, work, and vacation.  One of my friends, however, took him up on his offer. In the middle of  July, after hearing her talk about how much she enjoyed it, I asked her  if she thought I would be able to join. After we spent a little bit  talking about it, she asked if I wanted to go with her and see what it  was like. I agreed, and I loved it. I asked Coach Cotter if he would  mind if I joined, and I can still hear him saying, "Absolutely, the more  the merrier!" in my head. The weeks of practice that followed, and then  eventually the long Friday nights, proved to be an unforgettable  experience.

P3

The job of a football manager does not sound  glamorous. Being at football practice for six hours every day during the  summer and then three hours after school, surrounded by 47 sweaty  football players and seven coaches who are constantly shouting is not  how I planned to spend my summer and the fall of my senior year. But  there was no way for me to know that this experience would teach me  valuable lessons about life, regarding teamwork, hard work, and  discipline.

P4

In late July it was evident that some of the players  were new and unsure of what to do. I watched as day after day the  upperclassmen helped them learn their positions and become better  players. This demonstration of teamwork impressed me, because instead of  laughing at the younger players for not knowing what to do, they helped  them become the best players they could be to make the team stronger.  Once, three of our seniors got in trouble for some off field activities,  and they had to sit out the first game, along with losing their helmet  stickers that are given out for exceptional performances. I witnessed  the effect that the consequences had on these players, and I heard one  of our coaches after we lost the game tell them “Now you see how the  consequences of your actions affected the entire team. Don't ever  underestimate your importance to this team.” After that game, I saw the  hard work that those boys put in to earn back their reputations and  their helmet stickers. They taught me that even if I make mistakes, I  will always learn from them no matter how much hard work it takes.

P5

We  managers go by many names: watergirls, team managers, hydration  specialists. But none of these monikers can capture the rush of emotion I  feel after a hard fought game, or the feeling of connectedness that  comes every time we celebrate as a team after a victory, ringing our  bell and blasting “Party in the USA.” My sense of school spirit has  never been stronger. Throughout the summer, the three hours after  school, and the seven hours I spend on game days with the players, I  have learned lessons and developed relationships that I will never  forget.